As I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the darkness, my soul will keep.
If I wake before I die,
I pray you leave me as I lie.
In the coffin of my mind,
Quietly dead;
Painful memories left behind.
My soul in anguish, left unsaid.
As long as no prince charming comes,
So long as I can stay dead numb,
Let me sleep on, pretending I need no one.
If you wake me before I'm dead,
I pray, don't kiss me,
Don't fuck with my head.
Just tell me alone is all I'll ever need.
Tell me darkness is my friend.
Pretend with me that I'm asleep
And all my sorrows are at an end.
Leave me to my coffin,
Shattered glass fallen all around,
A beating heart torn out one last time,
Bitter screams, without a sound.
Let this death be the final one;
Please don't wake me before I die.
Just close my coffin,
And leave me to my lie.
(C) Mahella (T.M.) 6/20/08
'Blackened Rose'
Born in a poison garden,
A lonely soul trapped
Among penetrating thorns of sin.
The seven deadly vines did grow,
'Round the delicate flower below.
Little one, looking so weak and fair;
The seed of evil,
Struggling to survive in the devil's lair.
Feeding on the roots of malice,
Sleeping beauty began to thrive
And slowly rise among us.
Learning the ways of the land...
Graceful petals and lush leaves;
Masking the thorns at hand.
Vile rotting earth, parched and dry,
All that grows in this garden
Is a beautiful lie.
Born in a poison garden,
In order to survive,
Beauty must die...within.
Let the vines take hold and entwine,
Take nourishment from decay
And become their kind.
Of this garden there is no escaping,
Just illusions of grandeur
And souls for the taking.
When you come alive in this garden.
Watch reality blur,
As the heart begins to harden.
Do not fear your demise,
If you just surrender,
In you too, the poison will rise.
Under dark skies, steeped in putrid soil,
Thorns embedding deep,
While vines suffocate you in their coils.
Wake now, take a breath,
You're a little black rose,
In the garden of death.
(C) Mahella (T.M.)
'Silently They Come'
Silently they come, gathering 'round,
Hewing out graves, one by one.
Their song of madness, the only sound.
Black wings caress like a soft breeze,
Swarms darken the horizon;
Silently they beckon and tease.
Once they mark you as their own,
Fluttering little black souls;
There is no escape from the darkness they call home.
Open the door, come into the presence,
Let the silken black enfold you;
Death's wings will hold you... Forever in silence.
Rest in peace, buried in sorrow,
Never will you wake,
Upon the dawn's cold 'morrow.
Never again, will you shed one single tear.
Ashes of a broken heart;
Death's black miracle is here.
Bound by wings, eternally;
Rest well, my dear.
(C) Mahella (T.M.) 5/17/08
'Hope'
Yes, you possessed me.
In my silent hours,
When there was only grief
And sorrow to accompany me.
Bound by liquid tears
And thorns of betrayal,
Leaving their marks as wounds;
Your image set me free.
I felt a strange sensation
Seeping into my veins,
It pushed me up and onward;
Coursing through my body.
The sound of your voice
Made me move forward.
I saw a tiny flame in the blackness,
I shuddered and cried your name.
Your flame licked my skin;
My fears your warmth tamed.
Echoes of your smile in my mind,
Colors of your passions
Painting my flesh.
Bringing me back to life inside.
Your light settled 'round me,
Enveloping every sense.
I cared no longer for the pain,
Nor the blood loss, so immense.
All was worth the price,
As my longing was consoled;
With the most tender embrace
My broken soul you did soothe and hold.
Enraptured by just the thought of you,
Entranced by the hope you gave.
Your shadow kissed and caressed me,
My tortured heart, with your grace you saved.
Yes, my beloved, you possessed me!
Ah, sweet Death..... You've set me free!
(C) Mahella (T.M.)
'Revenge of the Betrayed'
See what you have done?
See what you have sown?
Torment, betrayal and pain,
A hate unknown.
Making the demons come to life
Within my very core
You tried to kill me,
Brought such strife,
I'll breath the rage evermore.
In my loneliness I wait,
In my torment and pain,
Ever growing and thriving on hate.
You raped me of my soul,
Smashed my dreams
And stole my life
How could you be so cold?
Where I once had a heart
I now feel such depth and darkness
That I could tear you apart
And never look back.
I smile now so bold
Never showing my feelings
Such cruelty within, so cold.
Darkness hidden, affliction ridden,
Rage untold and life un-lived
Do you know what I have hid?
Suppressing the demons that live inside,
See how they breath and writhe?
All these years and too many fears,
Have taken their toll,
I've shed too many tears
To ever feel whole.
Look now at me,
At what I have done,
At what I have become.
All I have seen
And all I know,
Can you see this horror,
Do you wish it wasn't so?
Do you now feel remorse and guilt?
Do you wish to mend this tragic bent?
You say you're sorry now
For being the one
Who caused my heart to bleed and rent.
Your pity I loath
Your pleas I can't stand,
Still, I smile and soothe
Then say, I forgive you......
Take my hand.
I take you now in an embrace so deep
You feel love and passion rise
Never looking into my eyes.........
Until it's too late,
To save yourself.......
From your own demise.
Now I rape your soul, rend your body
And smash your dreams
Don't you wish you'd, done other things?
I watch you suffer,
Seeing you sweat and scream.
In your I blood swim
And as I watch it flow,
I whisper to you my love,
You forgot.......
We all reap what we sow.
(C) Mahella (T.M.)
'Hunger's Dream'
Sinister visions of crimson decadence,
Behind closed eyes,
A moment of divine resplendence.
I see Hell's angels in lustful feast,
I gasp in longing,
As I strive to contain the seething beast.
Tender flesh, pulsing hot,
Velvet life flowing thick.
A need once filled, forever sought.
Secret caresses and sinful kisses
A corpse of carnal pleasures
Singing of What bliss is.
Waves of heat upon cold veins.
Moans of desire from red lips,
That shed silken tears, like rain.
Ah, behind closed eyes I do see,
Bloodied, writhing bodies of one spirit,
Sharing the hunger I long to free.
(C) Mahella (T.M.)
'Conditional Freedom'
Yes, at least I'm free.
Yet bound by my illness;
One no one sees.
I can come and go as I please.
Wander where I may;
Hide in a dark corner
And waste away the day.
Only my sickness controls me,
Telling me the time;
Keeping me from the dreams...I'll never see.
But no one will know or understand,
Because I only mix with the world
When I feel I have my illness in hand.
I'm free to do as I like whenever I can.
I'm free to live in misery,
I'm free to hide from every man.
Yet no matter what I do,
There are no arms I can call home.
Yes, I'm free.....
Free, to be always alone.
(C) Mahella (T.M.)
'These Living Spirits'
They say they are dead,
They say they are lost,
They say their battles are over
And they have paid the cost.
But those spirits have risen
And they live on,
Within their children,
They are imprisoned.
They teach them the secrets
And show them their visions.
They now share their pain,
Without inhibitions.
These Spirits are not dead,
They are not lost.
And their battles are not over,
But they did however, pay a cost.
They've journeyed to a New World
Where they can see all things,
But now they have returned,
To share with us, what they have learned.
They share with us, their battles now,
Their wisdom and their strength.
Although others cannot see how
We have them to thank.
So I say to you, these Spirits are not dead!
They live in me, and use my heart, my hands, my head.
So loud always in my mind,
Listen. Can't you hear their silent voices?
I can, I know well their kind.
I see their faces
And feel their pain.
I hear their words
And breathe the same.
Forever here and forever gone,
It may be an invisible world to you,
But to me.....
They sing an eternal song.
Around me they fly,
Within me they stir
Can you not feel the wrath which they incur?
God! why do you not see?
I am dead and they are me!
These Living Spirits my world do flood,
These Living Spirits are my Ancestors,
And I...........am their blood.
(C) Mahella (T.M.)
'Morbid Lovers'
Today was just a deathbed vision.
A suicide kiss,
In the heat of the day's premonition.
Darkness engulfs my mind,
My skin drowned in sensation.
The weight of sky pins me down,
As the cuts bleed devistation.
This pulse inside my core,
Writhes and feeds from within;
Killing me slowly,
Screaming mutely for more.
Beast of my grave, come down upon me.
Cruel embrace of sultry hell;
My morbid angel, setting me free.
As I lie in the fever of insanity,
I feel the last of my soul,
As it's ripped from reality.
But it's just a deathbed vision.
My morbid lover;
Forever's over, my daemon has risen.
(C) Mahella (T.M.) 7/30/08
'Love Can't Die'
Until this city crumbles, until stone turns to dust,
Forever I wait for thee.
I am forever in cold unrest.
Waiting for your warm arms, under the ground.
The city covered in darkness,
I lie in wait to be found.
The stench of the abandoned surrounds me,
Dead bones and decaying hearts
Turn to ashes and flee.
Frozen in time, buried by winter,
Alone and reaching, though the cities die;
Through my bed of ice and silence,
The only one left behind, I cry.
While my head rests on satin
And flesh falls away,
Nothing can alter my love.
For you alone I wait, for you alone I pray.
(C) Mahella (T.M.) 5/5/08
'My All'
Come to me, be my savior.....
Be my love, be my breath,
Be all I need,
Be my life in this death.
Come to me...........
Share my darkness,
Be my light,
Let our love
Be as eternal as the night.
Come to me, be my savior.......
Take all I have,
There's so much to give.
My life, my love, my very soul.
Breathe my name,
Make me live.
Come to me, be my redemption......
Hear me call your name,
Hear my pleas and my cries,
Do not leave me in this pain
Alone to face another sunrise.
Take me out of this life
Take me into your world
Let us be united forever
Among secrets unfurled.
Come to me..........
In your Darkness let me live and never die,
Teach my soul how to breathe and fly.
Make me yours in every way.
Never let me go, never let us part,
Lock me away,
A prisoner in you eternal heart.
Come to me.......
Wait no more,
Prove your love,
Give me yourself,
All that I need and adore.
Come to me........
Hear my call,
Be my life, my breath,
Be my love.............
My all.
(C) Mahella (T.M.)
'The Liar and the Fool'
You used your words so cleverly,
Never pausing for thought.
I was mesmerized by your voice;
Soon, in your arms, I'd be caught.
You wove such a silken web,
I was bound and shackled from within.
I couldn't see past your eyes.
I never had a chance; you were my deadly sin.
But one day I awoke so cold,
I didn't understand what happened....
But I knew I was a victim then.
So I wrapped you up in a burial gown,
Made of silk and satin.
I phrased each line so cleverly
You never saw what happened.
To you I was a toy,
Nothing but a tool.
But as I grew and learned your ways,
I lied to you..... Now you're the fool.
(C) Mahella (T.M.)
'Inject the Infection'
A needle's kiss, a razor's bite.
It's the trip I need to endure this life.
Poison turns the crimson black in my veins.
Not a trace of reality to be found
Since you nothing's the same.
My heart beats for another taste.
The cold steel on my flesh,
With lust, makes my pulse race.
Into my crimson flows your heat,
I slip into dreams....
Delusion.... Ecstasy so sweet.
With one sharp kiss you set me free.
No cold, no pain; no longer am I dead.
As you penetrate my flesh;
I'm alive, to embrace the darkness ahead.
Needle to my arm, razor to my wrist;
Purest corruption.
Bitter numbness, I can't resist.
As I slowly succumb
Your poison will be my soul's resurrection.
Don't stop now.... Go deeper....
Just find a vein
And inject your infection.
(C) Mahella (T.M.)
'The Cure'
I want your sickness.
I hear it calling me,
I see it grow,
I want it to take hold of my soul
I don't want to let it go.
Come to me now,
Bring with you your hate.
Smash my fantasies
Destroy it all and seal my fate.
Drown my pains,
And numb my soul,
Make me hard and strong.
Make my heart stone cold.
Smile with gray eyes.
Feel life grow from death.
Let the hunger take hold,
Live with every breath.
I feel reason leaving me,
I feel fire within this cold skin.
I see the world now
Through a black heart,
As I feel my dark life begin.
Nevermore will I cry,
I've traded in my fears.
Now I'll conquer all of them;
As I stand in the darkness
They'll cry bloody tears.
Give onto me your sickness.
Paint my heart black,
Make it strong and lifeless.
As you kiss the crimson in me,
Clean the wounds that are my eyes;
As they open show me truth
And teach me to tell clever lies.
With your bitter illness
Resurrect my soul, my mind.
The world is a tragic waste,
Let us destroy it and leave it far behind.
Give me your love so dark and pure,
Be my life after this death,
Share your sickness, be my Cure.
(C) Mahella (T.M.)
'Open To Liberate'
Open your mind.
Step off the edge and free fall.
Put past and future together
And leave it all behind.
You have nothing to lose
But your fears that bind you
And the tears that blind you.
Let all preconceived notions go,
Hold on to the wind,
Float on the breeze
As you feel it flow.
Open your eyes.
But don't look back.
See the darkness, see the light,
See it meld together
And in your soul take flight.
The presence you once dreamt,
Is now the vision that you see.
That sensation of color
Is now your brilliant reality.
Open your ears.
Don't shut me out.
I am your essence,
The voice of sweet madness.
I can teach you many things,
I can tell you of obtaining bliss.
Listen for the pulse in your head
The breath upon your skin,
Those were my words.....
Did you hear what I said?
Hear the voices sing a song
One of freedom and ecstasy,
One were nothing is ever 'wrong'.
Open your heart.
Fill your senses
With the possibilities of now.
Just don't exhale
And it will all come true somehow.
All is a matter of perception,
If you think this is truth
You'll never believe it's deception.
Don't judge the future by the past,
Look at today, make it real,
Then let go and make it last.
You have nothing to lose
But the chains,
That bind you to the ground.
Try to free fall,
Who knows what wonders can be found.
Follow me, I'll show you how,
Just look into my soul,
See me, feel me, hear me,
Know what it is to be partially whole.
Give in........
And together we can fly,
If you'll just let go.......
And be open.......Just try.
(C) Mahella (T.M.)
'A Heavenly Release'
Today the sun shown down so bright, that all were blinded, true feelings
hidden by the light.
When the sunset came the spectrum of colors changed, to reflect the burning aura that had been hidden by the suns fury of
flames.
The clouds rolled in and the Heavens sighed, as the sky grew dark, on the
great thunderheads in the breeze the spirits did ride; showing their power
with every decent, exhaling as with each roar they vent.
The endless black sea now weighted down, with the gray burden that was
carried secretly all day; hidden sorrow now found.
All becomes still, only the light from charged emotions flashes,
as with each breath the anger, pain and sorrow surmount and clash.
Overwhelmed with emotion the skies burst forth, pouring pure flowing sentiment from so high, as the Heavens release their
pain and begin to cry.
Tears of rain, spears of fire, sighs of thunder...... It's the sky's pure emotion
I stand under. It drenches me in it's explosion of emotion, I drown in the
tears of so many angels, I can't breath for the weight of the clouds as over
my chest they tangle.
All day, blindingly bright I smile; alone at the end of the day the darkness seeps
in, my eyes become clouded as I feel the dormant storm rise under my skin.
The voices rage, the hate flashes and burns; the pain cuts and torments
like a knife as it slowly, deeply turns.
Then all at once the dam held by fears, breaks, endlessly flowing, from my
darkened soul comes tears.
But I stand in the midst of the fog that has settled, from the sky's weary mind,
it leaves no room for vision or clarity, this can't be my emotion, it's
Heavens lament, a release of unworldly rarity.
Finally the sky has vented to exhaustion, spirits sigh once more with weary breath
as their night's storm reaches completion.
Lulled into stillness by a weary heart the weight of sleep washes over and
down, a mist of heavy fog smothers Heavens mind and though the air is
moist with memory no more tears can be found, all is still, all is over;
with the dawn, not another sound.
This fog has settled over me, into silence I drift swept away by dream, a dream
of Heavenly release, or so it seems.
(C) Mahella (T.M.)
'Unfolding Finale'
"I see my reflection in the sky, every moment of my soul, reflected by Heaven's eye."
So light, so dark,
The stars show each dream, the moon every scar and mark.
Passions reflected by the flying fire beams of the night;
Mysteries revealed in the eclipse, the darkening of the light.
The clouds that fog my mind,
Bring rain like tears that wash and empty the pain,
Leaving it far behind.
Then breezes steal the gray
As clouds part, the sun bursts forth with the joy of hope
And the promise of a new day.
(C) Mahella (T.M.)
'Bloody Paper Doll'
Cutting, cutting, feel the scissors slice.
The paper in it's shapes and sizes,
Raining down like melted ice.
I'm making something new.
Falling little cut outs,
Mutilated faces, all look lilke you.
Paper, paper, everywhere,
Cutting without a care,
Scarred pieces, flying through the air.
I cut to make myself a paper doll,
All around you, bloody pieces, fallen to the ground.
For you a bloody paper doll,
Lying on the floor, waiting to be found.
